Reviewing: Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret

Well, I am finally back to the real world (aka: work and blogging) after the Big Event this weekend. I wanted to keep the Big Event under wraps as much as possible until it happened because I wanted to avoid judgement and disapproval and disappointment from my extended family and friends.

The Big Event was a wedding. My wedding.


My boyfriend (now husband!) whispered a proposal in my ear three weeks ago on the porch where we spent many hours talking and making out in our early dating days nearly three years ago. We had already talked at length about getting married — we wanted a short engagement and a small intimate wedding with only the most important people there. And that’s what we had. I have to say, it was perfect. We literally had no problems finding a dress, a bouquet, rings, an officiant, a license and getting everybody together in Civic Center Park in downtown Denver Saturday afternoon. Throughout those two weeks, with no technical issues and just a minor amount of stress, I am still convinced it was meant to be this way. And we are meant to be together.


Okay, enough with the sappiness.

Friday night, my closest friends and I went out for a small bachelorette party starting out at Historian’s Ale House on Broadway. This was a fun little bar with a variety of local beers on tap and some really good fish and chips. And for the first time, I tried an Old Fashioned. And I have been converted to an Old-Fashioned connoisseur, so they must be doing something right.


At midnight, three of us decided to go to Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret for their Sexy Circus Sideshow. And here we will (finally) get into the review.

Lannie’s is highly recommended as a must-see for Denverites and visitors alike. Located in the basement of the clock tower in the heart of downtown, Lannie’s is a classic cabaret show with a mixture of kitchy comedy and hilarious showmanship with some sexual awkwardness thrown in there. It is important to note that the Sexy Circus Sideshow (and many others) have rotating acts, so you may not see the same thing I saw.

We arrived slightly late in the middle of the first act. We had VIP tickets, which means we received tiaras on our way in. We settled in and ordered drinks (which could have been stronger) and gladly fell down the cabaret’s rabbit hole.


The hostess, Sofia Soubrette, was absolutely wonderful. She has the perfect personality and stage presence to lead the show. She was hilarious and witty and sexy and has a killer voice. Honestly, her solo was one of my favorite parts of the show.

The show featured a juggling-comedy duo called Smirk, a magician, an internationally renown belly-dancer and arealist, and a few dancers who performed their routines on stilts.

In general, I love this place. The atmosphere reminded me of Moulin Rouge, with mood lighting, heavy crown molding and the shimmering light and color that compliment the performers’ costumes perfectly. The dancers were absolutely wonderful — it was the exact sexy, sensual, glittering show I expected in attending a cabaret show.

On the other hand, Smirk and the magician were a bit of a disappointment. Smirk seemed like they were trying to become the next Abbott and Costello type duo and it really just wasn’t working for me. Their juggling skills were definitely lacking. However, they worked their missteps into their comedy routine, which made the crowd cheer them on instead of letting them flounder onstage. This was also the case with the magician. He had a few tricks that were interesting but nothing too terribly shocking. His comedy again, was sub-par as well.

And finally, a circus could not be complete without a good amount of sexual innuendo and blushing. In the middle of the show an act was introduced in which a man brings out a xylophone of sorts and has the audience do “kegel exercises.” Eventually he plays the xylophone while juggling the sticks, which was impressive. This guy (I’m sorry, I can’t remember his name) was definitely entertaining. He was hilarious.14079577_10207438585263134_3870674414712008339_n

Eventually, Soubrette called up the VIPs (those names listed on the tickets as the group’s VIP) onstage for some good old-fashioned and semi-embarrassing audience participation. And I was one of them. Soubrette asked us to think of our favorite circus animal and make an accompanying sound. They then had us don red noses and make the same animal’s sound as if they were having an orgasm. I have to say, it was fun and hilarious, despite bearing some of the embarrassment myself.

Overall, this was the perfect thing to do for my bachelorette party. I had such a fun time and got lots of well-wishes for the wedding the next day from staff and audience members. I definitely recommend attending at least one show at Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret, and I will definitely be going to more in the future! Hope to see you there!

What do you think about Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret? What did you do/will you do for your bachelor/bachelorette party? What are some other fun attractions you’d recommend in Denver? Let’s talk.


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